


Come Undone

by romanticalgirl



Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: Cheating, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 17:54:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 12-30-02</p>
    </blockquote>





	Come Undone

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 12-30-02

Joey slipped out the window and settled on the cool metal of the fire escape, leaning back against the building. Her legs stuck out between the iron rail posts, dangling into nothingness. The dull blackness of the night was sharpened, brought out into high relief by the full moon that seemed to be hanging directly over her head.

She'd told Dawson once, a million years ago, that she hated full moons. Bad stuff inevitably happened. And it had happened then as it seemed to happen all the time. Sighing, she reached for the beer bottle sitting on the windowsill and took a sip of the cold liquid. 

There was the whole debacle back in high school with Dawson and Jack, followed several years later by a spectacularly stupid hitchhiking adventure through the Pocanos, which had ended in her first and last drug experience. And even that paled in comparison to the very vague memory of a frat party, a bowl of spiked punch and what may or may not have been the best sex she'd ever had. 

"I hate full moons." 

"Yeah?" Jen poked her head out the window before joining Joey on the fire escape. "Any particular reason or is it some sort of weird womanly thing that I don't want to know about?" 

"They're bad luck. Bad omens. There are reasons they always use them to depict Halloween scenes." 

"Yes, those frolicking ghosts, goblins and pumpkins appear so much more dastardly with the harsh glow of the full moon." Jen took a drink of her beer. "It's not even a full moon out, Joey." 

"Not yet." She pointed skyward. "But it's the night before the full moon, which is almost as bad as the night of the full moon." 

"Name one bad thing that's happened to you on a full moon." 

"Does the second half of my sophomore year qualify or do I have to single out one specific event?" 

"You're such a drama queen." Jen smiled and leaned back, closing her eyes as the cool evening breeze danced around them. "Look at it out here, Jo. It's like magic." 

"Remember Jed?" 

"Yes." Jen laughed. "Jed who thought Jen, Joey and Jed would make the best threesome ever? Especially if we could do it in the abandoned cabin he swore had been used in some random horror movie? How could one forget Jed?" 

"Full moon." 

"Kevin wasn't a full moon." 

"I didn't say all of them were full moons." Joey crossed her arms over her chest, giving Jen a dirty look. "I just said that many evil things happen during them." 

"Jed wasn't evil. Justwell" 

"Disgusting?" 

"He did give us a ride to the next town. And he was mostly a gentleman." 

"He grabbed my boobs while he was driving and nearly ran us off the road." 

"You're just obviously too alluring for your own good." Jen stifled her grin, burying it behind her beer bottle. "And besides, I offered to sit next to him." 

"You just wanted to control the radio." 

"Anything would have been better than _Dueling Banjos_." 

Joey sighed, trying to cover her laugh. "True." Taking another drink of her beer, she pulled her knees up to her chest. "Remember Rodney?" 

"Jack's best buddy?" Jen nodded. "You'll remember that I dated him for five months." She cut Joey a sharp look. "Although you may remember it better as the five months he dated you." 

"I broke up with him as soon as I found out." 

"What I've never figured out is how he managed to keep it a secret from both of us for so long." 

"Different schedules. Days with you, nights with me. Alternating weekends and two idiots who didn't realize that he never had enough money to actually be working the three jobs he said he was." Joey sighed. "It was a full moon the first time he asked me out." 

"Me too. Obviously." 

"Jase?" 

"Now him," Jen saluted Joey with her bottle. "He was a catch." 

"Yeah. I thought so too until I found out he was using me to try and get to Pacey." 

"Could have been worse. He could have been trying to score with Dawson." 

"You know, you have this unerring ability to take all the bad things in my life and make them worse." 

"Why? Is it worse that he'd be interested in Dawson?" 

"No. It's just that I now have an image of them in my head that was never ever there before. For very good reason." Joey managed a half-smile, half-grimace. "It was a full moon the night my mom died." 

"Which makes a lot more sense in regards to your dislike of them than your rabid boy issues." Jen finished her beer then got onto her knees, reaching back over the windowsill to the cooler for another. "Jase and Pacey would have been a hot couple." 

"True. If Pacey were gay." 

"Or willing to experiment." 

Joey raised her bottle in salute. "My dad was arrested during a full moon." 

"You have too many issues." 

"Says the girl with the parents from hell and the pre-teen sexualization?" Joey smirked. "Not to mention the worst luck with men in the world?" 

"Hey, still at least one less than you." 

"You have a thing for your gay best friend. Your male, gay best friend." 

"Oh, shut up." 

"And you had a thing with my college roommate." 

"So did your ex-boyfriend." Jen stuck her tongue out at Joey. "During which time you dated the guy who totally screwed me over." 

"I reformed him." 

"You dazzled him with your near virginity." Jen took a long drink. "You looked innocent and it got him all hot and bothered. Men like girls who act like they've never stared at a ceiling waiting for it to be over." 

"Is that what you do when Drue fucks you?" 

"No, but it's what I did when Dawson did." 

"Bitch." 

"Slut." 

"Whore." 

Jen's eyebrows practically disappeared into her bangs. "Cunt." 

"Ooouch." Joey flipped her off. 

"You mess with the bull, you get the horns." Jen poked the air in front of Joey. Sighing, she relaxed back against the wall. "I love full moons." 

"Name one good thing that's ever happened during a full moon." 

"Jack's commitment ceremony." 

"During which I believe you and I got plastered and your boyfriend Drue took pictures of us in incriminating positions." 

"Hey, you said you wanted a reason to break up with Michael." 

"I didn't want to give him fantasy material in the process." Joey finished her beer and nodded as Jen reached back for another. "He was practically jerking off on the way out the door." 

"So were Pacey, Dawson and Drue." 

"Eeew." Joey shook her head. "Again with the mental images I don't need. Ever." 

Jen hid her smile behind her bottle. "Waking up was interesting." 

"Yeah. So, next?" Joey gave her a mock-glare. "I dare you to find one good full-moon related event that wasn't bad for me." 

"The night Bessie had Stephanie?" 

"Also the night we found out she'd been cheating on Bodie. With Doug." Joey cocked an eyebrow. "Admittedly, they've got some weird arrangement worked out now, but it was not a good night." 

"A-ha. Terrorforming!" Jen poked Joey lightly in the ribs. "You have to admit you had fun." 

Joey shrugged and rolled her eyes, fighting her smile before responding. "It was fun." 

"I knew it!" Jen leaned back and took a long drink from her bottle. A huge group of student activists had invaded the Boston Bay campus and broken into the botany and horticulture labs, protesting the use of chemicals by setting the saplings, seedlings and other things free. There had been an interesting period following where the samples the labs hadn't been able to recover caused some interesting epidemics on the school lawns. 

"Poison oak," Joey reminded her. "As I recall you ended up with it in some interesting places after wrestling with that one guard." 

"Hey, it was worth it." Jen tried to look offended. "We dated for two years." 

"After which he told you about his wife and kid." 

"It was really good sex." 

"Should have been, considering he got to practice so much, even on the nights he wasn't with you." 

Jen stuck her tongue out at Joey. "Do you only remember the bad things?" 

"Mostly." 

"Weirdo." Jen shifted her position, leaning on the iron railing and looking into the apartment. "What about the night of the Spring Fling?" 

"Hmm." 

Jen waited a moment then smiled. "You can't think of anything, can you?" As Joey's silence continued, her grin widened triumphantly. "You can't. You can't think of a single bad thing that happened that night. Can you?" 

"Give me a second." 

"Nope. No seconds. Either it's burned into your memory or it doesn't count." Jen pumped her fist. "Whooo-hoo! I win." 

Joey sighed then shrugged defeat. "You win. There's been one memorable full moon in my entire live that has not resulted in some debacle of epic proportions." 

"And tomorrow?" 

"It hasn't come yet. It's still got debacle potential." 

"True." Jen looked into the apartment and then quickly looked back at Joey. "I mean it could be horrible." 

"Oh, thanks for that." 

"Seriously. Your dress could get torn or wrinkly. You could fall face first down the aisle. The groom could not show up." 

"You're not helping." 

"Or, worse yet, you could look into the living room and see Drue, a boom box, and the very real threat of him doing a striptease." 

"You're joking." 

"I could be." Jen laughed softly. "But I'm so not." 

"I'm never opening my eyes again." 

Jen got to her feet, tugging Joey along with her. "Come on, Potter. Drue's got some seriously nice hip movements. I'm sure you'll enjoy them." 

"I'm not going to watch your boyfriend parade around our apartment in something even remotely resembling a thong." 

"Drue doesn't wear thongs." Jen pulled her over to the window and placed her hand on Joey's head, pushing her under the glass. "He always goes commando." 

"Ew! I don't want to know this about your boyfriend! I don't want to know this about anyone's boyfriend. I want to remain completely in the dark about everyone's underwear choices!" Joey opened her eyes, keeping them trained on the floor as Jen forced her through the window. 

"Hey there, Joey." 

She blushed at Drue's voice, her mind conjuring up various images of him in stripper's clothing. "Hi." 

His soft chuckle echoed through the room. "What's the matter? You afraid to open your eyes?" 

"Yes." 

"Damn, Jen. You weren't supposed to warn her." 

"What else could I do when I saw you in that outfit?" Jen pushed Joey down onto the couch and sat beside her, refusing to allow her to get up. "It was either say something or burst out laughing." 

Music started, a slow bump and grind, and Joey automatically shook her head. "This isn't happening." 

"It is." Drue's voice came closer and Joey squeezed her eyes shut tighter. "And it's very sexy." 

"I'm not looking." 

Jen's weight shifted, moving away from her. Joey gripped the cushions beneath her and debated running from the room with her eyes closed. Of course, running headfirst into a wall the night before her wedding wasn't really an option, so she took a deep breath and opened them. 

The lights were dimmed to almost nothing, the music still playing in the background. Drue was nowhere in sight. Joey looked immediately at Jen's bedroom door, her brow furrowing as her roommate waved and disappeared into her room. "What's going on?" 

"The bachelor party got boring." 

Her heart sped up as she turned toward the kitchen. "What are you doing here?" 

Pacey leaned against the counter, his ankles crossed casually. "I was dropping Drue off." 

"And what are you still doing here?" 

"I told you, the bachelor party got boring." 

"It did?" 

"Yeah. So Drue and I left." 

"And the rest of the guys?" 

"Still out partying." He shrugged. "I figured you and Jen would be out with Audrey and Andie and the rest of the gang." 

"I opted for a quiet night at home." 

"No last minute wild oats to sow?" 

"Jen and I recounted my past wild oats. I think, given the propensity of the full moon, it's better if I get all my oats from Quaker from now on." 

Pacey chuckled softly. "And now that Jen's disappeared with Drue, what will you do?" 

"Thank my lucky stars that he's not going to strip in front of me?" She laughed as well, moving to one of the stools next to him. Sitting beside him, she rested her chin in her hand. "Other than that, I have no plans." 

"How about dancing?" 

"With Drue?" 

"Given that he's probably halfway to the horizontal tango with Lindley right now, how about you dance with me?" Her spine tingled at the words and she lifted her gaze to his. 

"You're not going to strip?" 

"You really think I should?" His voice was low and husky, full of promise. He nodded toward the stereo, the same soft, thumping beat loading the question. "What do you say, Potter? Last dance before you make the biggest mistake of your life and get married?" 

"You think it's a mistake?" 

Pacey didn't answer, moving away from her, his hips swaying slightly to the rhythm. He caught her hand and pulled her with him, sliding her against his body as his free hand moved along the length of her back. 

"Are you going to answer me?" 

Pacey shrugged slightly, his hips meeting hers with every step. "It could be. If you're not really in love with the guy." 

"What makes you think I'm not?" Joey asked softly, freeing her hand from his grip and bringing it to his chest. 

"Well," he closed his eyes as she trailed a finger down the length of his pale blue shirt, "you're dancing awfully close to me." 

"Very true." 

Pacey's breath caught in his throat as Joey took a small step back, grabbing his hands and bringing them up to her breasts. He closed his eyes for a moment then, still keeping their smooth rhythm, he began unbuttoning her shirt. "And you have to admit, it could lead someone to wonder if you're really serious about this guy you're marrying." 

"What do you think he'd do if he knew you were here? That we weredancing?" 

"He'd probably kick my ass." Pacey shrugged as he slid her shirt from her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor at her feet. "Well, now that's not true." 

"It's not?" She barely recognized her own voice as she reached back and unfastened her bra. Pacey waited as she freed the small metal clasps then guided the lacy lingerie off of her. 

"He'd probably just get angry that I was undressing you." Pacey bent his head and kissed the curve of her shoulder. "If he knew what I planned to do to you afterwards, thenwell, then he'd kick my ass." 

Joey closed her eyes, letting her head roll back slightly as his lips found her neck, his tongue tracing her pulse. "And what is it you plan to do?" 

Pacey threaded his fingers through her hair, bringing her head up so that she was looking up at him. Her eyes were liquid with desire, heated longing parting her lips, her tongue wetting them eagerly. "I'm going to make you forget all about him." 

Joey's hands moved down to his hips, her fingers catching in the waistband of his jeans. She trailed her fingers along the fabric, drifting down to his fly before smoothing her palm over his erection without breaking his gaze, her breath shortening at his statement. "You think you can do that?" 

Pacey's hands found her breasts, rubbing his thumbs gently over the creamy skin. Joey shivered, her nipples hardening at his touch. "Isn't that what I'm doing, Potter?" 

She stepped closer, prohibiting his movement. Her hand still cupped his cock; his hands still cradled her breasts. "My one last night of pure, unbridled passion?" Her tongue traced his lips, her breath warming them. 

He nodded, his mouth over hers. "You should know what you'll be missing." 

"Is that your way of saying you're going to shut up and fuck me?" 

"No." He released her breasts, sliding his arms around her as he lifted her up, his cock captured between them. He turned and headed toward her bedroom, kicking the door open. As it shut behind them, he dropped her casually on the bed, smiling wickedly. "This is." 

~**~

Joey shivered as he stared down at her, not moving from where he stood at the end of the bed. She lay back on her elbows, her back arched slightly. The golden light of her lamp fell on her bared breasts, the nipples rosy in the pale light. 

"What?" She asked softly, her teeth closing around her lower lip. 

Pacey leaned forward, brushing his thumb over the swollen flesh until she released it. "Nothin' to be nervous about, Potter." 

"I'm not nervous," she assured him breathlessly. 

"No?" He held her gaze as he unbuttoned his shirt, tugging it from his waistband. Leaving it hanging open, he unfastened his belt and pulled it free of his jeans. "Not even a little bit?" 

"I'm not the same girl you initiated into the art of lovemaking, Pacey." She giggled softly, the sound catching as he undid his jeans and slipped them to the floor, stepping out of them. "Where are your shoes?" 

"I took 'em off out there when I was being sneaky," he tilted his head over his shoulder toward the door. "Initiated into the art of lovemaking?" He shook his head as he knelt on the end of the bed. "Did I ever really say that phrase?" 

"Yeah," she admitted. "But you were more than a little drunk at the time." 

"Yeah?" He moved over her slowly, his eyes traveling the length of her body as if memorizing her. He finally looked up, feeling her eyes on him. "I'm not drunk now." 

"No?" 

"No." He placed a soft kiss on the flesh at the top of her jeans, just beneath her navel. 

"Not" Joey caught her breath as his kisses moved up her skin, tongue and lips moving slowly over her flesh. "Not even a little?" 

Pacey stopped and looked up, his words whispered on her flesh. "Not even a little." 

Joey shivered, her whole body reacting as he crawled upward, his mouth finally moving up the slope of her breast, the heat of his lips closing around her nipple. She moaned quietly, her body arching up toward him as he enclosed the other breast in his hand. 

Moving slowly, precisely, Pacey released one nipple and made his way over to the other, his free hand covering the damp flesh, heating it again in the cool air. Joey whimpered softly, her hands tangling in Pacey's hair, holding his mouth against her. 

"Joey," he whispered her name against her skin, moving away from her breast, continuing up her body. 

Joey blinked back the sting of tears behind her eyes, hunger and desire swimming in her stomach as she felt the hard press of his cock against her jeans. "Pacey?" She panted his name softly, her body alive beneath him. "Pacey?" 

He pulled back, his blue eyes black with desire. He brushed her lips with his own, swallowing her gasp of pleasure. "What, Potter?" 

"I need" She thrust upward, feeling heat through the layers of material that separated them. "I need to feel you." 

"Joey," he said her name softly, carefully as he feathered soft kisses over her face, closing her eyes with the light pressure of his lips. "This is going to be slow. Agonizingly, achingly slow." His own voice was a harsh whisper, husky with wanting. "We're going to take all night and, when it's over, you're going to wish I'd taken longer." He found her lips again, nibbling on the swollen flesh. "When you finally feel me, Joey, you're going to need me so much you'll cry with how much it hurts." 

"It hurts now," she assured him, her hands moving over his shoulders and back, feeling the muscles move and constrict at her touch. 

"It's the last time, Jo," he whispered in their kiss, breaking it off and shuddering slightly as he inhaled the scent of her. "Our last time." 

She nodded silently, finding his mouth again, her tongue sliding over his. He groaned softly into her mouth. She gasped, deepening the kiss as one of her legs slid over the back of his. 

Pacey pulled back and smiled down at her, a low growl rumbling in his throat. "You're not going to convince me to speed this up, Potter." He reached down and caught her leg, moving it off of him. He pulled away from her, moving back down her body until he was kneeling between her legs, his hands resting on the waistband of her jeans. 

Joey shivered as he unbuttoned them then slid the zipper down. His hands rested underneath the fabric on her hips, his thumbs wreaking havoc on her nervous system as they brushed the bare skin of her stomach. She arched off the bed, allowing him to slip the denim down her body, backing away slowly as he stripped her jeans off of her. 

He dropped them on the floor, the fabric pooling in a rushed sound immediately swallowed up by Joey's soft gasp of pleasure as his hands moved up her calves to her thighs. He slid his fingers between her flesh and the mattress, lifting her legs with him as he continued up her body, setting her feet flat on the bed as he moved her legs apart. 

Joey rose up on her elbows, watching him as he knelt between her spread legs, his cock straining against his boxers, the fabric damp as it rubbed against the tip. Sitting up slightly, she reached out, touching the wetness lightly before lifting her finger to her lips, rubbing it on her tongue. 

Pacey's eyes fluttered closed for a brief second and he shook his head, the corner of his mouth lifting as he brought his hands around to the front of her thighs, moving them higher, brushing his fingertips over the pale blue fabric of her panties. Joey reacted, inhaling sharply as he slipped his fingers under the material, pulling gently until she lifted her hips, allowing him to slide them off of her. 

Shivering slightly in the heated air of the room, Joey watched Pacey's eyes as they slowly moved over her, sliding over her skin with a heat of their own, pausing on her breasts then continuing down, stopping as they reached the dark tangle of hair at the apex of her thighs. "I thought I'd forgotten." 

Her breathing hitched, her voice catching. "What?" 

"How beautiful you are." He reached out, his fingers stirring the downy hairs, slipping down to the ends that curled damply with her arousal. "I want to taste every inch of you, Joey." He looked up, his eyes black with emotions she couldn't read. "Will you let me?" 

"On one," she cleared her throat, trying to raise her voice above a strangled whisper. "On one condition." 

His smile crooked up. "What's that?" 

She reached for his hand, pulling it toward her, pressing it against her body, feeling his fingers edge closer to her aching flesh. "You start immediately." 

His chuckle rumbled low in his throat as he moved back, lying on the bed between her thighs. She lay back as well, closing her eyes in anticipation as she felt his hands caressing her inner thighs. His lips smoothed over the warm flesh, his tongue branding her, his teeth nibbling her skin. 

Joey moaned quietly, the sound dissolving into a thick gasp as Pacey's tongue brushed the swollen flesh, parting it and finding the hard nub of her clit. Long fingers tangled in his short hair as he applied pressure, teasing the rosy flesh as Joey's breathing grew harsher, shallower. 

His tongue dipped lower, tasting her, then moved back up to her clit as he slipped two fingers inside her, moving them slowly, rhythmically. Joey's body ground down against the mattress, her hips rolling with the movement, thrusting up toward him. Pacey chuckled softly, the sound shivering along her spine, his fingers slowing, not allowing her to set the pace. 

"Not so fast," he whispered, his tongue flickering feather-light against her skin. "Slow, remember?" 

"Pacey," she moaned throatily, her hands tugging at his hair. "Please?" 

"Uh-uh, Potter." He turned his head, nipping the swollen flesh that surrounded him, reveling in her shuddered response. "You're not going to convince me to do anything other than take my time." 

"If you," she paused as his mouth covered her clit again, teeth and tongue worrying it in unison until she thought she might scream, "oh fuck, if you just do it this, ohoh," she gasped, her chest rising and falling rapidly. "This once and then we can do it again." 

He lifted his head, catching her eyes with his. "One last time, Potter." He moved his fingers, increasing the speed of his strokes. She gasped again, falling back to the bed, her body matching him with every thrust. Her fists curled in the bedspread, the quilt bunched in her hands as her hips came off the bed, the rush of her orgasm overwhelming her. 

Pacey's tongue slid inside her, following the movements of his fingers as her climax pulsed through her, flooding him with the taste of her. She whipped her head from side to side as he kept moving his hand, not stopping until she begged for mercy, her voice nearly inaudible as she came again. 

He lay there, inhaling the musky scent of her, his hair tickling the smooth skin of her inner thigh as she recovered, her breathing slowly evening out. She let out a long breath, stilted and shallow, then lifted her hand to his hair, stroking it softly. "Pace?" 

He got to his hands and knees, crawling over her body, guiding her legs together as he straddled them, his hands on either side of her. "Everything all right?" 

"Everything's" 

"Because I'm not done yet." He lowered his head, his lips warm and wet as they surrounded her nipple. His teeth closed gently around the hard tip, his tongue teasing it, curling around the tight skin. He sucked lightly, balancing his weight on one hand as he lifted the other to her exposed breast, gently kneading it. 

Joey's back arched, her body pressing up toward his, her moan of frustration fueled by the distance between them. She could feel Pacey smile against her skin, kissing his way to her other breast. He shifted his weight, sliding his free hand between them, curving it around his cock, still sheathed in his boxers. 

Silk and flesh slid against Joey, wet and hot as it brushed her skin. Pacey released his cock, easing one leg between both of hers as he lifted his head, his blue eyes gone black with desire. Joey's hand was tentative as it snaked between them, easing past the waistband of his boxers to touch the hard flesh, rubbing her thumb over the sensitive tip of his cock. 

Pacey groaned, his whole body shuddering as she shook his control. He teased her nipple with his fingers, leaning down to kiss the distended tip before easing his other leg over hers, his body between her legs, the loose material of his boxers teasing the damp hairs that curled over her sex. 

"I want to feel you, Potter." He nuzzled the slope of her breasts, kissing his way up to her collarbone, tracing it with his tongue. "I want to feel you surround me." She tilted her head as he nibbled her neck, his hips thrusting lightly against her, the brush of fabric sending sensations racing through Joey's body. He lifted his head, smiling hungrily. "I want to feel you come all over me." 

"I want you inside me," she panted, capturing his lower lip between her teeth and sucking on it, kissing him before reluctantly letting him go. "Deep and hard. Please?" 

"Now?" 

"God, yes." Joey nodded. "Please." 

Pacey reached down, easing his boxers over his hard cock, pulling away from Joey's hand. As she lifted her hand to her lips, licking away the taste of him, he climbed off the bed, easing his boxers slowly to the floor. Joey moaned softly, her hand moving from her mouth to her clit, circling the hard nub, whimpering softly as she stared at him. 

Stroking his cock lightly, Pacey tilted his head, smiling down at her. "You want this?" 

"Fuck. Pacey, please?" Tears clung to her lashes as she thrust off the bed, needing him. "Please?" 

He crawled up the length of her, taking care to touch her skin, stroking and caressing it as he moved. "You want me inside you, Joey?" He whispered softly, pressing his lips to her neck. "Is that what you want?" 

"Please?" Her voice broke, tears thickening it. "Oh, please?" 

He nodded silently, grasping his cock lightly and rubbing the tip of it against her clit. Joey cried out, unable to stop the tears rolling hotly down her cheeks. Pacey closed his eyes, shuddering with control as he teased her then slowly pressed his hard flesh to her wet opening. 

Her body surrounded him with wet heat. Wisps of damp hair gripping at his cock as it slid inside her, the slick walls clinging to his flesh, muscles contracting and closing around him. Pacey groaned low in his throat, the sound shaking them both as he thrust forward, filling her. 

"Is this what you wanted?" His voice was a soft purr of satisfaction. "Me?" 

Joey nodded mindlessly, her legs wrapping around his waist as she angled her hips toward his, meeting his steady thrusts. "Yes." 

"Inside you?" 

"Yes." 

He thrust harder, deeper, reveling in the liquid heat that surrounded him, the blood pulsing beneath her skin, beating against his flesh as her muscles constricted, tightening further around him. 

Joey shuddered as Pacey bent his head, nibbling on her lower lip, sucking it gently into his mouth. Reaction ripped through her, her breasts tightening, her nipples impossibly hard. Her breath shattered, her gasps giving way to stilted swallows of air. 

Feeling her body shift beneath him, Pacey released her lower lip, trailing his tongue along her jaw line before gently sucking at the soft skin of her neck. 

Joey's body went rigid then relaxed, the thick wave of her orgasm crashing around his cock. Pacey's body shook, his tightly held control threatening to slip out of his hands as her moans of pleasure filled the room. 

Slipping free of her body's intoxicating pull, Pacey lowered his head, flicking his tongue over the tip of Joey's nipple as he trapped the hard flesh between his thumb and forefinger. She gasped again, desire and surprise husky in her voice as another pulse of her orgasm shook her. 

Pacey grinned, watching her as she slowly relaxed, feathering touches over her nipple, exerting just enough pressure to keep her distracted, the edge of her arousal sharp. 

"Pacey?" 

"Hmm?" He moved to her other breast, taking it in his mouth. He sucked hard then softly, curling his tongue around the distended flesh. Joey's fingers dug into his shoulders, her body arching toward his, seeking out his still hard cock. 

Reaching back with one hand, Pacey unhooked her ankles, letting her legs fall back to the bed before grasping them lightly. He lifted them slowly, sliding them onto his shoulders as he knelt between he parted thighs, the swollen head of his cock teasing against her flesh with every movement. 

Joey's heels dug into his skin as a hungry satisfied smile lifted the corners of his mouth. Joey caught her breath, releasing it in a harsh, shallow pant in time with his first long thrust. 

Pacey smoothed his hands along her legs, unable to keep his own rough response silent, his heavy breathing hot on her skin as he turned his head and ran his tongue along her ankle. Joey's body trembled, small aftershocks of orgasm quaking against his skin as he released a long, low groan, the sound drowned out by the ragged pounding of his blood and the insistent pull of his orgasm as it pulsed into her. 

~**~

Pacey nuzzled Joey's neck, still moving inside her, every thrust languid and slow. "You're not really going to marry him, are you?" 

Her voice was still husky, hot in his ear. "You think that mind-blowing sex is enough to alter the course of my life, do you?" 

He chuckled, the sound sending shivers of goosebumps along her skin. "It's always worked before, Potter." 

"Not this time." She shoved at him playfully and he grabbed her hands, pinning them to the bed, holding her still as he moved against her, his hips colliding with hers, his cock pumping steadily inside her. "I'm immune to you." 

"Are you?" The words rumbled from his throat as he nipped the skin of her neck, working his way up to her earlobe. 

Joey laughed, gasping for air as he released her ear, finding her mouth instead, his tongue pushing past her parted lips, filling her. Her laughter turned to moaned acceptance, her mouth fitting to his, capturing his tongue and sucking on it as it penetrated deeper into the warm cavern. 

Pacey's smooth strokes grew rushed and uneven, his body jerking slightly with every movement until he broke the kiss, inhaling sharply as he rocked his hips hard into hers, coming again deep inside her. Joey freed one hand from his grasp, lifting it up to brush away the hair that had fallen in his eyes. "Just make sure he's everything you need, this guy you're marrying." 

"What makes you think I would settle for less?" 

"I don't know, Potter. Seems to me that you spend an awful lot of time on the Witter Couch of Psychobabble." He moved off of her, his body slick with sweat and sex. "Not that I mind having you sprawled out on the good leather, but" he paused and turned his head, looking at her seriously. Joey held his gaze for a moment then looked away. "Shouldn't he do all this for you, Joey? Shouldn't he be the one who knows what you need? Shouldn't he be the one who gives it to you?" 

"You think that because I let you fuck me, I'm not really in love with him? That my relationship with him is lacking in some way?" Her voice grew defensive, her body shifted away from his. "Is that what you think, Pacey?" 

He blew out a breath. "I think maybe you're getting married to the wrong guy. Or for the wrong reasons." He shook his head. "I think you need and deserve something more." 

"And you're it?" 

"No. I never said that." He moved to the edge of the bed and sat up, looking down at her. "I just don't want you to make a decision you're going to regret." 

She looked at him pointedly, her eyes traveling over his naked body to his face. "That's kind of funny, Pacey, since I think it's clear that I already did." 

He shook his head, grabbing his clothes from the floor and dropping them onto the bed, slowly dressing. He refused to look at her as he pulled his shirt over his head. Shivering slightly, he pulled his boxers on and reached for his jeans, stopping as her hand closed around his arm. 

"Wait." She exhaled slowly. "I'm sorry." 

"How sorry?" He asked softly, looking up at her, holding her wounded gaze with his own. "Sorry enough to apologize or sorry enough to actually do the right thing." 

"I am doing the right thing, Pacey." 

He freed his hand and put his jeans on. Leaving them unzipped, he leaned forward again and rested his fists on the mattress, his face close to hers, his breath feathering over her skin. "Was doing me the right thing, Jo?" 

She crossed her arms over her chest, effectively closing him out. Shaking his head, he headed for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Pacey." 

He nodded, leaning against the door and looking at her for one long moment. "I wouldn't miss it." 

She sat on the bed chewing on her lower lip until she heard the front door close behind him. Grabbing her robe from the chair near her bed, she slipped it on and moved out into the living room, opening the cooler that still sat just inside the window. Grabbing a six-pack from beneath the ocean of ice and water, she carried it into her bedroom with her. 

She placed the bottles on her dresser, ignoring the soft thump as she checked the clock and opened the first bottle, taking a long drink, wondering how long it would take to forget enough to fall asleep. 

~**~

Jen leaned against the doorjamb, not even bothering to hide her smirk. "You're going to make a lovely bride." 

"Bite me." Joey pulled her pillow over her head, silently counting each painful throb. "What time is it?" 

"Noon." 

"Noon!" Joey sat up, grabbing her head as the throb increased to a pound. "How did I sleep until noon?" 

"I understand taboo sexual encounters can wear a girl out." 

"Shut up." Joey climbed off the bed, shoveling her hair out of her face with her hand. "Do we have aspirin?" 

"Personally," Jen held the bottle in her hand, rattling it invitingly. "I think full moons bring out the primal being in all of us." Joey gave her a quick glare as she took the bottle. "Or was that Pacey howling at the moon?" 

"Bitch." 

"Slut." 

"Oh God." Joey sank down onto the edge of her bed, holding her head in her hands. "I am a slut. Oh God." 

"You're not a slut," Jen assured her, her tone no longer joking. "Not in the strictest definition of the word." 

"Oh, thanks. Comfort me with semantics." 

Jen sank down on the bed next to Joey, putting her arm around the brunette's shoulders. "You're not a slut. You just" 

"I slept with another man the day before my wedding!" 

"Yeah. That's what you did." Jen sighed. "But you wanted to, right? And there's no harm?" 

"No harm?" Joey got off the bed and began pacing frantically. "How do you see no harm in this? I had sex with Pacey. We had sex! I did all sorts of things thatthat I'm not supposed to do anymore" 

"Marriage will be boring if you don't intend to do any of those things anymore." 

"And you let me!" She smacked Jen on the shoulder. "You let me! You made me!" 

"I didn't make you do anything." 

"You and Drue set me up." 

"Joey?" Jen looked at her seriously, all the teasing gone from her voice. "You did what you did last night because you wanted to." 

"Because you got me drunk." 

"Because you wanted to." Jen insisted. "You wanted to." 

Joey sank back down on the bed. "Oh God." 

"He never has to know, Joey. It was your last night of freedom and youdid what you felt you wanted to. What you had to. And I'm not going to say anything. You're not going to say anything. Pacey's not going to say anything." 

"Drue's going to tell the first chance he gets." 

"Drue's not going to say anything." Jen reached out and took Joey's hand. "I promise you that." 

"Oh God, Jen. I cheated on him. I'm the world's biggest hypocrite." 

"Joey." 

"No." She got up and moved over to the garment bag hanging on the door of her closet. "No, I mean, it's okay." She reached up to touch her dress, stopping before she touched the material. "You think he'll know?" 

"Not if you don't tell him." 

"You're sure?" Joey looked back over her shoulder. "I don't have some sort of guilty look on my face that just screams I fucked Pacey?" 

"No." 

"I don't look like I spent the entire night before my wedding having orgasms with the best man?" 

"No." 

There was a long pause filled with nothing more than Joey's sigh. "Pacey's always been the best sex I've ever had. I mean, when we started, it wasn't fabulous or anything. He was always so concerned for me and I was so worried I wouldn't live up to his expectations that it was kind ofmediocre. But after we broke up, whenever we wouldwhenever it would just sort of happenit was alwaysGod, it was always amazing. Hot and hard and fast and slow. I mean, he would do things to me I'd only read about, you know? Things I thought weren't actually possible." 

Jen laughed softly. "I think that that qualifies as a perfect reason for what happened last night." 

"Whose idea was it? Last night?" 

"His." 

Joey reached out for the dress, running her fingertips over the smooth silk. "I know we have to leave pretty soon, but do you think" She glanced over her shoulder at Jen. "Can I just be alone for a few minutes?" 

"Sure." Jen stood up, nodding. "Look, I" She stopped. "You have a half hour." 

"Thanks, Jen." 

Jen touched Joey lightly on the shoulder. "You're really not a slut." 

Joey smiled and laughed softly. "Thanks. Coming from you, that means everything." 

~**~

"Hey, thanks for calling. You've reached 555-7812, Grams's home for wayward souls. Grams doesn't live here anymore, so you'll have to reach her at the hotbed of lovin' that is her new boyfriend's place. If you wanna talk to Pacey, press one. Audrey, press 2. Jack for the duration of his stay, press 3. Dawson, press four until Sunday, after which you'll have to locate the big lug at his own place. Speak now or forever hold your peace." 

Joey's finger hovered over the one for a long moment, as she listened to Audrey's voice completing the message. Finally, she pressed two. 

"Audrey's den of sexual pleasure." 

"Hey." Her voice failed her. "I hear there's a special this week?" 

"Oh yeah." Joey heard Audrey fall back on the bed. "Blow jobs are half off and I'll let you go down on me for free." 

"Wow. I should be so lucky. When are you guys leaving?" 

"That's quite a question, coming from you, tootsie. You're supposed to already be at the church, aren't you?" 

"What makes you think I'm not?" 

"Well, I don't hear the echo of sin in your voice that you always get when you're near the house of God." 

"You have me confused with Jen." 

"Yeah, well, I don't hear her crying out in abject horror like she usually does when she glances over at the crucifix on the wall. So why are you still at home, Bunny?" 

"I woke up late." 

"Ah. It must have been the bachelorette party that I didn't get invited to?" 

"No. Jen and I stayed home and drank beer." 

"Wow. Way to spend your last day as a single woman. You could have been more boring if you'd given each other pedicures. Unless they were lesbian pedicures." 

"That's more you and Jen than me and Jen." Joey laughed. "When will you be there?" 

"Soon. Pacey's running a little late. Or Dawson is. I don't know. There's some sort of male wedding party emergency. It may involve the lack of aspirin or other hangover cure." 

"Dawson got drunk?" 

"That's sort of an understatement." Audrey laughed. "It's more like Dawson's still drunk, and I'm trying to be as noisy as possible as a result. And, you know, keeping my eye out for any pasties or curiously stripper-like panties that might be lingering around the house." 

"I appreciate your vigilance." Joey sighed. "So, I'll see you in a little bit?" 

"I'll be there as soon as possible." Audrey paused. "You okay, Joey?" 

"Sure. Fine." She nodded, idly fingering the hem of her dress. "Just fine." She hung up and sat back down on the bed, falling back against her pillows. Turning on her side, she reached for the picture frame lying face down on her nightstand. Picking it up, she ran her thumb over the picture, not remembering who had turned it over or when. 

~**~

"You ready?" Jen poked her head into Joey's room. Her eyebrows shot up as she surveyed the room. Everything was stacked neatly by the door, the garment bag stretched across the bed. Joey was standing by the window, chewing on the pad of her thumb. "I'll take that as a yes." 

"Where's Drue?" 

"He went over to Grams's house to help haul everyone to the church." Jen couldn't help smiling at Joey's panicked look. "And I made him swear on the promise of me continuing to perform his favorite sexual activity that no word of what might or might not have happened last night ever leaves his lips. Not even to Pacey." 

"You trust him?" 

"He's graduated from trying to ruin your life, Joey. Now he's exclusive in wanting to ruin mine." Jen smirked. "Besides, even if he said something, no one would believe him. Everyone knows you're in love with Dawson." She paused, her gaze locked on Joey. "Right?" 

Joey lifted her eyes to Jen's. "Right." 

"Now, come on. We're about to be running seriously late." 

~**~

"You look beautiful, Bunny." Audrey sighed happily. "Like something out of a movie. A good movie, not some weird bad independent movie about drug addicts, creative murders and prostitutes." 

"Well, I appreciate that." Joey glanced at herself in the mirror, careful not to catch Jen's eyes in the reflection. She had to admit her dress was gorgeous. Jen had helped her pick it out and Audrey had given final approval. The intricate beading on the bodice helped show off the fairly low-cut neckline and the long sleeves began just at the edge of her shoulders, adding to the illusion of additional cleavage. "It is a beautiful dress." 

"And you're a beautiful bride." Jack smiled from the doorway. "And, as a gay man, my compliments mean far more than anything these catty bitches might have to say." 

"You know," Audrey poked him in the stomach, "we're in a church. You might want to refrain from shouting your sexuality from the rooftops" 

"The priest-guy was kind of cute," Jen added. 

"And you might want to watch your language." Audrey gave Jen a quick glare. "I'm sure Grams mentioned to you that they sort of frown on that sort of naughty thing around here." 

"The walls are still hallowed, Audrey, even if Jack's calling us names." Jen stood up, reaching back to fluff up her skirt. "It's almost time. Why don't you two go out and make sure that everyone's ready?" 

"I thought that was your job as Maid of Honor." 

"No, my job is to keep Joey from running out the door and or strangling you. One I'm willing to do, the other not so much. I'll let you two guess which is which." 

"You know," Audrey looped her arm through Jack's, "Ever since she started getting laid on a regular basis, she's become incorrigible." 

"I don't want to think about Drue and Jen having sex," Jack reminded her. 

"I don't either, but unlike you, it's not because I want to get into Drue's pants." 

"No. You want to get into Jen's." 

Jen shut the door behind them, leaning against it as she looked at Joey. "There's got to be some long, pointy thing in a church we could stab them with and make it look like some sort of weird ritualistic suicide." 

"I might get blood on the dress." 

"Damn." She smiled and sighed. "You do look beautiful." 

"Thanks." 

"And I'm not just saying that because it's my job." 

"I know." Joey finally looked away from the mirror. "I love Dawson." 

"I know." 

"Last night notwithstanding, I love Dawson." 

"I know." 

"And just because he doesn't fill every void in my life, just because he's not everything I need, it doesn't mean he's not who I need." 

Jen's pause was almost short enough not to notice. "I know." 

"So I'm going to marry him." 

"I know. That's the whole reason we're here." 

"Okay." Joey took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Just so you know." 

"I do know." 

There was a knock on the door and Joey suddenly looked panicked. "It's not time yet, is it?" 

"No. Not quite." Jen moved away from the door, opening it slightly. "Oh. Hi." She looked over at Joey then nodded, moving aside and slipping through the door as Pacey walked in. 

"Hey." 

Joey swallowed hard. "Hey." 

"This is only marginally awkward, right?" He chuckled softly and shook his head. "If we forget all the recent stuff?" 

"Can we?" 

"Okay, so it's majorly awkward." 

"No. Not awkward." Joey cleared her throat, trying to talk, then did it again when that failed. "I mean, for me." 

"Of course not." He said the words quietly, the slightest trace of mockery in them. "It's never awkward for you, Jo." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Nothing." 

"No. Not nothing." She crossed her arms over her chest, ignoring his quick glance down at her cleavage. "This is it, Pacey. There's no more chances after this. Let's just get it all out in the open, have it out and put an end to it." 

"Apparently last night was the end to it." He whispered the words. "You made that choice." 

"You, Jen and Drue made it for me." 

"Bullshit." He moved closer to her, growling the words. "No one forced you to do anything you didn't want to do. No one forced you to do anything you weren't begging for." 

"You think you're hot shit, don't you, Pace? You think you're God's gift to women, to sex. You think you're just such a stallion in the bedroom that no woman can resist you, is that it?" 

"I think that I've loved you for a long time and I've tried to move on without you. I've distanced myself from you, I've been your friend, and I've been your confidante through every shitty little thing that's happened to you." His voice broke slightly, thick with emotion. "I've held you while you cried through broken hearts and I've held you when you've wanted me to. I've done everything you wanted, given you everything you needed. Last night was it, Joey. No more. The end. I'm done. Done with you, done with it all. I can't be that man for you anymore." 

"No one ever asked you to be that man." 

"You did." His voice was flat, cold. "You asked me the day you showed up at my door when Dawson broke your heart your sophomore year in college. You were afraid you were going to fuck things up by running to that guy in your English class and so you asked me to stop you from hurting anyone else." 

"And you slept with me." 

"I held you, Joey. I held you while you cried and while you cursed at the world in general and Dawson in particular. I put everything aside - my job, my girlfriend, everything - and I was there for you. I've loved you for so goddamned long I've forgotten what it's like not to love you. I've forgotten what it's like to be able to live my life without thinking of you and wondering what you're doing at any given moment." He shook his head, blinking back a sudden rush of tears. "Last night I wanted to talk to you, Joey. I wanted to tell youI wanted to tell you everything I didn't have a right to tell you. I thought I was more to you than a warm body in your bed. I thought I was more than a tongue and some fingers and a cock. But I'm not, am I?" 

"Pacey" 

"So, last nightlast night never happened. Not because I want to protect you or myself. But because it meant so little to you. Because all it was to you was sex." He smirked, more at himself than at her, then checked his watch. "You've got fifteen minutes of single life left, Jo. Enjoy them." 

~**~

Jen stuck her head back in the dressing room, chewing her bottom lip nervously. Joey was leaning against the mirror, the tracks of her tears trailing blackly down her pale cheeks. "Whatever it was, I take it it didn't go well?" 

"It went fine." Joey straightened and reached for some Kleenex, wiping her eyes. "Is everything almost ready?" 

"Yeah. They're just starting to seat Bessie and Gale." 

"Good." 

"It's not too late, Jo." Jen wrinkled her brow, measuring her words carefully. "I know why you're doing this, and I know that you think it's what you want" 

"It is what I want. I love Dawson. And no amount of sex, good or otherwise, with Pacey is going to change that." She held Jen's eyes. "It's just sex. You've seen him. He's like a god, Jen. Body to die for and enough expertise to make any woman beg. And, I'll admit, I've done my share of begging. But that was then." 

"And this is now?" 

"And now is about the time to walk down the aisle for my wedding." She smiled tremulously. "Let's go." 

Jen nodded and started for the door. "Is he really that good in bed?" 

"Oh yes." 

"Damn." 

~**~

Bodie glanced over at Joey, squeezing her hand resting on his arm. "Your mom and dad would be proud of you, Jo." 

"Thanks, Bodie." 

"Bessie and I are proud of you." 

She turned her head and smiled. "Thank you." The music started and she stiffened slightly before relaxing, moving down the aisle the way they'd practiced the night before. She lifted her gaze to the front of the church, noticing the rich color of the pastor's robe against the pale lilies that framed the altar. She hadn't wanted them, but he'd insisted that they should have a tribute to her mother, since she'd been the one who brought Joey over that first day. That first fateful day. 

She looked to the right. Jack stood there smiling, his own commitment ring glinting in the vast array of candlelight. Just past him was Pacey. Don't look at Pacey. And Dawson, shifting nervously from foot to foot, smiling happily, his face slightly red from the aftereffects of the night before. 

Against her will, her eyes drifted to Pacey, locking on the long dark lashes that brushed the slightly red tint of his cheeks. He wasn't looking at her. His eyes were closed, his lashes trembling. She dropped her gaze to his hands, clenched at his side, the repressed anger pulsing against his skin. 

"Who gives this woman to be married?" 

"Her sister and I do." She shook herself mentally, realizing that Bessie was now standing beside her as well. There were tears sparkling in her eyes, pride and love slipping down her cheeks, bathed in salt. 

"Step forward, Josephine." 

She hadn't wanted that either. She'd wanted Joey until the vows, until they were making their pledges. Joey until she was married, like some sort of rite of passage, when her name would fit her. 

The priest began speaking, words flowing past her like water. Dawson was holding her hand, his own slightly clammy, trembling with nervousness and dehydration. His skin looked paler than normal, his nose and cheeks still red, his eyes bloodshot. She stared at him, her focus just over his shoulder where Pacey stood, stock still, unable to look at her. 

She handed her bouquet off to Jen, unwilling to meet her eyes as she took the flowers from her hands. Unwilling to do anything except turn back around. He was off to the side more now, the golden ring in his hand. He played with it, turning it over and over like some sort of talisman, smoothing it with his fingers and thumb. Over and over and round and round. 

"Please repeat after me. I, Josephine Potter" 

"I can't do this." 

"Take you, Dawsonwhat?" 

"I can't do this." She shook her head slowly, clearing it. "I thought I could because I thought it was what I wanted. I thought it was what I needed. Safety and security and easy. It's always so easy, even though it's hard. It's easy to be with you, Dawson, because you don't require anything of me. You don't need me to think or to feel or to be anything more than whatever role you've cast me in. And I can't do that anymore." 

"Joey," his voice was a whisper, loud enough that it carried through the church. "What are you talking about?" 

"I love you, Dawson. I'll always love you. You were my first love and you were the boy I idolized for too long. But you're not the man I love and you're not the man I want. You're not the life I want." 

"Is there someone else? Is that what you're telling me?" 

"No." She shook her head. "There's no one else. There's only me. And the things I need that don't fit in with the picture of me you have in your head. I have to find someone else to fill those voids for me, Dawson, because you can't do it. You're not capable of being anything more than what you are, and I'm sorry that I let it go this far." 

"There's someone else." He whirled around, glaring at Pacey. "Are you fucking her?" 

"He's not sleeping with me, Dawson." Joey grabbed his arm and made him face her again. "This isn't about anyone else. This is about me. And you. I wanted life to be easy for so long, Dawson. Between my parents and school and everything changing, I wanted it to be easy and safe and simple. But when I got that, when you gave me thatIt's not what I want, Dawson." 

"You're fucking him, aren't you?" He hissed the words angrily. "Was that where he was last night, what he was doing? He has the morals of an alley cat and you let him drag you down with him every time, don't you? He's living with Audrey, Joey. Doesn't that tell you a little something about his level of commitment? Of course, you probably think your pedestal status makes you exempt from cheating, don't you? Pity that's not the case." 

"I'm not sleeping withwhat?" 

"I've been cheating on you since we started dating again, you stupid cunt. You're so high and mighty, so above it all. Sex isn't good enough for you. My touch isn't good enough for you. You have to find someone else? Well, guess what, Ice Queen, so did I. I had to find someone warm enough to thaw me out after touching you. I had to find someone sweet and wet enough to make me feel human again after being your neutered little pet." He ignored the tears forming in her eyes. "And I guess it's only fair that you've been Pacey's little whore, since Audrey's been kind enough to provide the same service for me." 

"You son of a bitch!" Audrey shot up the few steps, her nails digging into Dawson's skin as she tackled him to the floor. Joey took a step back, blinking rapidly, unsure. Dawson grabbed Audrey's arms and forced her onto her back, underneath him, and Joey stepped back again, Jen's presence keeping her from falling down the stairs. 

"You remember the saying that discretion is the better part of valor?" Jen helped Joey down the steps. "That's a good saying, don't you think?" 

"Yeah." 

Jen led her through a side door, both of them hurrying down the hallway, back to the dressing room. They locked the door behind them, half laughing as they collapsed into the chairs. "You okay?" 

"A little numb. A lot numb. I think when it wears off, it's going to hurt like hell." 

"Yeah. I think it might." Jen sighed and stared up at the ceiling. "Why didn't you tell him it was because of Pacey?" 

"Because it's not." At Jen's skeptical look, she smiled slightly. "It is. But he's not the only reason. He's not the biggest reason. Not him specifically. I need something more from the man I'm going to marry. I can't have someone like Pacey in my life if I'm going to be married, so I need to marry someone who does both - what Dawson did for me and what Pacey did for me." 

"It's not just the sex, is it?" 

"You know the reason I fell in love with Pacey in the first place? Way back in high school?" 

"He was hot like lava?" 

"No." 

"He was acting interested in me and that irritated you beyond measure?" 

"No." 

"He was" 

"He didn't back down. He never backed down, and he made me fight for what I wanted, what I believed in. He challenged me." 

"He bought you a wall." 

"He never once asked me to be someone else." She grinned ruefully. "Of course, he then spent our entire relationship trying to change himself into someone he thought I wanted him to be, but he never asked me to be anything different than who I was." 

"Because he loved you." 

"I want that kind of love again." Joey shrugged. "And I'm not talking about Pacey. I'm talking about someone who loves me for me and who wants me to love him for him. I want" 

"Something that doesn't fall apart under a full moon?" 

"Yeah." Joey nodded. "Something like that." 

"So what are you going to do now?" 

"Find a new apartment. Findmyself." 

"Are friends still included?" 

"Friends are necessary." She assured her. "Although it might not be easy." 

"I'm not taking sides, Joey." 

"You are. You're on Pacey's side." 

"Well, yeah." Jen laughed as Joey moved to the window, glancing down at the limo on the street, waiting for her to come running out of the church. "But this isn't about him, so it doesn't matter. Although it'll be interesting to see how he reacts to the news of Audrey and Dawson." 

Joey watched as Pacey walked down the steps toward the limo, leaving the sound of Audrey's screams behind him. He leaned down and talked to the driver, throwing back his head and laughing after a few moments, then sliding into the back seat of the long car. "Something tells me he's going to be fine." 

~**~

"Another full moon." Joey lifted her beer in salute as Jen crawled through the window. 

"Anything terrible happen today?" 

"Let me think. No broken weddings. No newly homosexual boyfriends. No lost jobs. No eviction notices." She shook her head. "Nope. Nothing terrible." 

"Perhaps the curse of Joey Potter's life is broken?" 

"Nah. That's too easy." 

Jen laughed and took a drink of her beer. "So, have you seen Dawson at all?" 

"Nope. He moved back to LA. Audrey in tow." 

"Really?" 

"Surely you knew that." 

"Well, yeah. But I'm surprised you knew." 

"Would you be even more surprised to learn that I know she's pregnant too?" 

"Very surprised." 

"It's amazing what you hear when you're on the end of some vindictive spiraling phone call that makes very little sense between all the expletives." 

"Dawson or Audrey?" 

"Oddly enough, Audrey. Apparently, by leaving Dawson at the altar, I've ruined her life." 

"How'd you do that?" 

"It forced her into more frequent sexual contact, since both she and Dawson were convinced that Pacey and I were and still are sleeping together, so they fucked out of a misplaced sense of revenge, and she ended up pregnant, which means she's got to move to Hollywood to live in style until Dawson tires of her and finds himself a trophy wife." 

"They're getting married?" 

"I got the impression that they will the second he hears about the baby or she's going to sue him for every penny he's got, as well as a few he hasn't earned yet." 

"Wowzer." 

"Yeah." Joey raised her eyebrows. "So actually, this has kind of been a good day, as far as full moons go." 

"And you and Pacey? I know there was truth in the whole pre-wedding rumor. Any truth in the post-wedding?" 

"No. I haven't seen him since the day he took off in the limo." 

"No one has." Jen finished her beer and reached behind her for another one. "I guess when they got home from the debacle that was to be your wedded bliss, all his stuff was gone. He hasn't shown up for work or called them since. He called and left a voice mail for his boss telling him that he had to take a personal leave of absence and he'd understand if he didn't have a job to come back to, but he was sorry there was nothing else he could do." 

"That would mean more if his boss weren't Drue." 

"How do you think I get such privileged information? I only sleep with Drue so I can feed you all the Pacey tidbits." 

"Mmmhmm. And you're living with him, why?" 

"He talks in his sleep." Jen laughed. 

"How is that going? The two of you?" 

"Good," Jen's smile was telling, as was the rosy blush that stained her cheeks. "Really good." 

"I don't want any details." 

"As if I'd give them up to you." She was quiet while Joey reached back for another beer. "Things are good?" 

"Things are very good." Joey nodded, taking a drink. "I feel likeyou ever have a point in your life where you're so full of hope that nothing else matters? Like when you went off to school or when you heard about your parents divorcing?" 

"Yeah." 

"That's how I feel. Like I can do anything. Be anything. I started drawing again. I haven't drawn in forever." 

"What are you drawing?" 

"Capeside, mostly." She shrugged. "A few other things." She lifted her bottle toward Jen. "To breathing room." 

"Breathing room." They clinked bottles and both drank, soaking up the sounds of the city echoing around them. 

"Girls don't know how to toast at all." Drue stuck his head out the window. "Can we move past this _Friends_ moment and come inside like normal people? We have furniture." 

"You're such a romantic at heart, Drue." Jen accepted his hand and let him help her through the window. 

"Now, see, I'm actually more afraid of the furniture because I don't know what you've done on it." Joey let Drue help her through as well. 

"I could tell you, Potter." 

"I'd so rather you didn't." She laughed softly, the sound dying as she turned toward the kitchen. Pacey stood there, his expression solemn. The beer in his hand was sweating slightly, the condensation sliding over his fingers. "Pacey." 

"Potter." 

She glanced over her shoulder as Jen's bedroom door shut, a slight smile on her lips as she turned back to face him. "I heard you'd disappeared." 

"I needed some time." 

"For what?" 

"To think." 

"And what did you think about?" 

"You." 

"Oh?" 

"Yeah." He lifted the beer to his lips and took a long swallow, feeling her eyes burning on his skin as they followed the line of his neck. "How have you been?" 

"Good. I've been doing a lot of thinking myself." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

"What about?" 

"Me." She smiled and took a sip as well from the barely remembered the bottle in her hand. "And you." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." She set her bottle down on the kitchen table then moved over to the stool beside the bar, beside him. "You were right about me. About me and him. About everything." 

"I've been watching the two of you a long time." He shrugged. "What are you doing now?" 

"Same thing. Same job. Same life, only now I'm living it on my terms. The way I want to." 

"And is that so different than it was before?" 

"Yeah." She nodded. "I'm whoever I want to be now, not whoever he thought I was." 

"That must be nice." 

"Do you remember that time, forever ago, when Matt Caufield destroyed my mural?" 

"Yeah." 

"I didn't get it then. That you were falling for me." 

"Joey, I hate to tell you this, but you've never gotten it. Even when we were dating, you showed an incredible knack for not getting that I was falling for you." 

"You were going to let me marry him, weren't you?" 

"It wasn't my place to stop you." 

She nodded and slid off the stool, moving in front of him. "It took me a long time to get it, Pacey. But I get it now." 

"You do?" 

"You don't have to sound quite so sarcastic." She slapped his arm. "It's a full moon tonight." 

"Yeah." 

"You remember what full moons mean to me?" 

He nodded, reaching out to stroke her cheek. "Misery and pain." 

"The last full moon I remember I spent making love to you." She turned her head and kissed the inside of his palm. "There have been four full moons since then, Pace." 

"We've got some catching up to do?" 

She nodded. "A lot of catching up to do."


End file.
